Storms

I'm skipping the 20 week pregnancy post today.  Yes, I'm half way.  Yes, it should be a big milestone.  But, nothing has changed since last week - baby is now the size of a banana.  My ultrasound is on Thursday, so I'll have more to share then!

For now, my heart is in a different place.  We had a nice little thunderstorm this morning, which made me stay in bed just a few minutes longer than normal.  I begged with the thunder to keep just a tad quieter as to not wake Tenley.  These were purely selfish motives, as I was not ready to get out from beneath the covers and get ready for work.  When I finally did give in to the alarm clock and after I dropped Tenley off at the sitter, I was driving to work to see a gorgeous sight.  I looked in my rearview mirror to see the dark storm clouds.  My back window was wet with the rain and it was tough to see through.  But as I looked ahead in the direction I was driving, I saw bright blue sky!  I couldn't help but smile thinking about how God has been working in my life and how this was such a great metaphor for my life in general.  So many times I've wanted to drive out of the dark places I was in, straight out of the storm.  When you're in the depths of the storm, you can never quite see the light- but you know it's there.  Today- I saw it.  In the form of a bright blue sky that held so many promises for the future.  Whether that be in the form of Baby #2, or rekindling relationships, success in jobs, or a brighter future with our Savior.  My mind raced back to all of the times that I was STUCK in that storm of dark clouds.  When Nick died, choices I made through college, bad decisions, etc. Where are you Lord?! I remember screaming.  He was right there all along, just on the other side of the clouds- calling out my name for me to run to him.  Run to the light.  I smiled driving into the light and leaving the past, the worry, the storms behind.  Today is a new day.  I don't know what my future holds, but I know who holds my future.

19 weeks.

How far Along:  19 weeks, 3 days.
Total Weight Gain/Loss:  Well I'm sure I've gained a little, because I haven't been getting sick quite as often.  We'll find out at the next doctor's appointment.
Maternity clothes:  I'm in all maternity pants now.
Best Moment this week:  a stranger noticed I was pregnant :)
Movement:  Still haven't felt any movements since early on when I thought I was feeling something!  I'm waiting for the obvious ones!
Food Craving:  chips and salsa
What I miss:  Energy.
Sleep:  I've always tossed and turned a lot, but definitely more than normal now.
Symptoms:  I told Mike that I think I've hit a weird point in my pregnancy that I just don't feel very pregnant because I don't have all that many symptoms.  *same as last time.
Doctor's Update:  Just one week and one day til our ultrasound!!  Can't wait to see our sweet little baby!  He or she is the size of a mango right now :)

Here's what was happening with Tenley at 17 weeks:
How Far Along: 16 weeks, 6 days.
Total Weight Gain/Loss: Still at -15. Haven't gained anything.
Maternity Clothes: Still don't need them.
Best Moment this week: Work has finally slowed down, so now I'm finally getting a little break and am able to take care of myself better!
Gender: still not going to find out :) 
Movement: None. I'm hoping in the next couple weeks I should feel something!
Food Craving: None, I'm still getting sick every few days, so I have been really trying to be careful with what I'm eating.
What I miss: feeling like myself.
Sleep: I get up at least twice a night to go to the bathroom. Ugh.
What I am looking forward to: Our appt on the 27th!! It's the first appt Mike will be able to be at. And we will get to finally see the baby again!
Belly Button: In.
Symptoms: I still get sick every few days, but that's an improvement. I finally have some energy back on the days that I'm feeling better.
Doctor's Update: Haven't had an appt in a few weeks - next one is on the 27th. Can't wait!!

Here's what's going on with Baby #2 at 17 weeks!
How far Along:  17 weeks, 3 days.
Total Weight Gain/Loss:  I honestly don't know.  I had lost at my last doctor's appointment.
Maternity clothes:  Starting wearing some shorts and a couple tops, more out of comfort than necessity.
Best Moment this week:  I'm starting to tell I'm pregnant a little bit.  I can see a little bump.  Mike thought this morning that I popped a little bit.
Movement:  I really thought that I had been feeling the flutters of the baby, but I haven't felt anything in weeks, so I'm thinking I was imagining it or it was just gas :)  Oops.  We'll call it wishful thinking.
Food Craving:  Still popsicles.
What I miss:  I've been very tired the last few days.  Barely making it through the afternoon.  I'm ready for some good sleep and more energy.
Sleep:  Just this week I've started getting up once at night to go to the bathroom.  I toss and turn more than normal too.
Symptoms:  I told Mike that I think I've hit a weird point in my pregnancy that I just don't feel very pregnant because I don't have all that many symptoms.
Doctor's Update:  Next appointment is August 2nd for our ultrasound!  No we won't be finding out what we're having, but we can't wait to see baby #2 up close and personal!!