I'm feeling so torn today. We got some really tough news from some friends of ours. If they weren't states away I think I would have rushed over and just embraced them for hours. Our dear friends from Merrillville have tried for years to have children. She became pregnant just four weeks after we found out we were having Tenley. We were so excited to walk through this journey together. Sadly, she had a miscarriage a few weeks later. I remember feeling very guilty. There I sat nauseous, bloated. Even though I wasn't showing yet, I felt like there was a big red arrow pointing to my belly letting everyone know that I was pregnant and she was not. Because of the person she is- she probably never once thought that about me. She never would have thought "why her? why not me?" . But I sure did. Years have now passed. They have moved to Texas, we have had another child. They have started the adoption process. They were notified a couple months ago that a birth mom had chosen them! They were so excited and we all rejoiced with them. What a blessing this sweet baby boy would be! This was the boy that God had created just for them! Yesterday, the birth mom's due date, we received a message that the birth mom had changed her mind. She wanted to keep her son. What do you say? How do you cope with something like that?
They were at peace just two days ago and now chaos.
They were blessed by a little life and now it feels like a death.
They had experienced God's healing and now feeling a loss.
What a celebration we had and now the grief is tangible.
It's unfair. It's a gut wrenching feeling to watch them go through this, let alone go through it themselves. What do you do with those feelings? The only hope I have is our faith in Jesus. He keeps us rooted. He keeps us on the journey that we are intended to be on. He helps us continue the fight. This is hard. This path is narrow. But God never intended it to be easy. And I have to have faith and believe that Colt and Lindy's path is leading them to the perfect sweet baby that they will hold in their arms and never have to let go of. He is faithful ALWAYS. Their story isn't over. Hold on tight Colt and Lindy. Jesus is carrying you and He will make it right.
