Life Lately.

I'll be honest. Life Lately has been busy. But as I was grabbing pictures for this post I realized how much fun we have had too!

Our neighbors and us started a kid swap night once a month. Last month we watched their boys so that they could have a date night, and this month the girls went to their house so we could have one. It's been so much fun for the kids and us! This month since it was our turn we went to the Channel Marker with some friends. It was a rainy/muggy day, but it turned into a really nice night on the lake. We love going there!

While we were there, I got this picture of the kids. Ashley always does super fun things with her kids. She's a pinterest mom.  And I'm jealous most of the time. Since the rain washed out their "drive in movie" in the back yard, they decided to make milkshakes. This is all four of them lined up drinking them.

They are making some great memories with these cute boys and we are so thankful to have them two doors down!

I'm grateful for our date night that weekend, because the next week things got BUSY. It was family camp week at Prairie Camp, so I worked out there every day/evening and I felt like our family was basically passing by each other in the evenings. The weekend that camp ended Mike and I said that the girls were such troopers that they deserved to do something fun. So Friday night we took them to the Splash pad. I don't have any pictures of that - mostly because while Tenley played in the water, Paisley clung to me. She is not a fan of it yet - which is ok - Tenley wasn't at that age either and this year she loved it. So I know we'll get there. Paisley is a bit more reserved around water in general than Tenley has been. Saturday night when I got off work, we headed to Mike's aunts house to swim. The girls love going there and on that night we were able to swim with Mike's cousins and their kids.

Tenley and Madison loved jumping off the side together! Tenley has really gotten a lot better in the pool this summer and is able to stay in the shallow end without floaties. She tends to get a little brave sometimes, so we have to watch her closely, but she has gotten good at knowing when she's tired or needs her floaties back on.

This cute little fishy took awhile to warm up to the pool. She is perfectly content sitting on the steps and playing there while watching the big kids jump around. That's ok. She'll be jumping in soon enough.

Speaking of that cute little girl - we did her first ponytail the other day! Oh my goodness was it cute.

On Sunday after church we had a special surprise for Tenley! (Due to the heat, we decided that Paisley should go with grandma and grandpa for the day- so she had a special day too!) She got to be in the Elkhart County 4H Parade! This is a huge parade, and we knew she would love being a part of it. Pam Shaw called and asked if she would ride on the Apple Festival Float and invite some friends too. So Ella and Jayda joined us and the girls had so much fun sitting with the Queen/Princesses of the Apple Festival!

These girls may be Future Apple Blossoms!  Me? A pageant mom?! haha! Tenley wasn't the only one who enjoyed the parade. Mike, Kayla and I were also in it. We walked beside the float throwing out candy. We had so much fun! It was about a 3.2 mile parade, so we got a good work out in too on a very hot day!

The parade kicked off the fair, so we have taken full advantage of enjoying it this week! Mike and I even got to enjoy some time at the fair alone on Tuesday night! Some very sweet friends gave us track seats for the Cole Swindell concert.

We had a great time and new more of his songs than what we realized! We haven't been to a concert in a long time, so it was really nice to enjoy that together. Last night we took the girls with us to the fair. They loved looking at the animals, the ice cream and the rides! We spent the evening with the Whickcar family and the kids had a blast!

Paisley wasn't a fan of this big slide. Mike enjoyed it though!

One of the random things that the girls have really enjoyed doing lately is going with me to the gym. I go to spinning class on Tuesday and Thursday evenings and during that time they have child care available. The girls have LOVED going with me and playing in there. I love that they are entertained, but also that they get to see me working out too and they will grow up knowing that my health is now a priority in my life. On Tuesday morning I decided we all needed to get out of the house for a bit (after lots of fighting between the girls) so I went to the gym early that day and I caught this picture while I was lifting.

They were great motivators as I could hear Tenley yelling through the window "Go Mommy! Go Mommy!" haha. It almost made me cry. What special times these are! The days are long but these moments will pass quickly. I'm thankful for all them!

Friday Favorites

It's time for Friday favorites! We haven't had a super busy week but I of course have some favorite moments!

Have you all heard of plopping!?  It's a completely terrible name for a trick to help curly haired girls wash their hair at night and wake to beautiful soft curls! I was the biggest skeptic I tell ya. But I tried it the other night and followed the directions. OH MY GOODNESS. I was amazed when I woke up to curls that looked like I just did my hair! This might just turn me into a night showerer! :) Here's the directions:

Tenley tried to ride her bike without training wheels this week! We're not quite ready for it yet, her fear definitely got the best of her. But she tried!! I'm not sure when she got so big.

Mike and I got to dress up last weekend and head to a friend's wedding. It's rare anymore that we get to BOTH dress up at the same time and go out somewhere. Since losing some weight, I was actually looking forward to dressing up too.

Here's my favorite picture from the week! They are starting to play well together more often and it's great to watch these moments happen!!

Friday Favorites

It's been a busy week filled with lots of Marshall Madness! I'm going to list some of my favorite moments from the week - my Friday Favorites!

We celebrated Mother's Day last Sunday with a trip to the zoo! It was a rainy day, but it cleared off in the afternoon so we decided to chance it. We grabbed Chipotle (it's Mother's Day..of course I wanted my favorite!) and headed to the zoo in South Bend. It's a small zoo, but the girls loved it regardless. We had a great time checking out the animals and learning new things about them!

 Tenley loved the map of all things. She stood in front of the big map forever looking at everything. Paisley loved the camel and the monkeys and said hi to everything!

Last weekend Paisley and I headed out to Lowe's to finish Tenley's teacher appreciation gifts. Paisley does so well one on one with us and I think she soaks up all of the attention. I always try and make a point of doing something with just her once in awhile because I know she's never got to experience being an only child like Tenley did! 

Paisley helped me pick out the flower pots and flowers for Tenley's teachers. We had a great time together!

When we got home Paisley took a nap and Tenley got her boots on and got ready to help me plant the flowers! She was SUPER excited to do this - but I think she mostly just wanted to play in the dirt!

Tenley's teacher gifts turned out great! She loved helping with them too.

I think this is my favorite picture from the week. These girls are so fun to watch their relationship grow. We have our days where fighting seems to be the norm, but we also have really loving moments that totally outweigh the bad.

Yesterday, Tenley had her last day of pre-school! She has had such a great year at school. She has learned so much and loves it. She already can't wait to go back next year. Next year she'll be going every day! She will learn so much.

 Look how much she has grown since the first day of school!  Mike and I both commented how much slimmer her face looks. She has lost some of that baby/toddler look!  (Insert tears here..) As sad as it makes me that she's growing up, I also have really enjoyed this age. Ohh trust me- you've heard me complain about this sassy, stubborn, independent girl. But she's also so compassionate and watching her turn into her own little lady has been so rewarding.

 Last night was her pre-school program. She didn't have a graduation since she'll be going back next year. But they did get to perform a few songs together. She was looking forward to this a lot. She posted for me before the program in her cute outfit.

 She did a great job performing with her classmates for all the parents and grandparents.

I can't thank her teachers enough for what an amazing year she had! She loved all of them and is looking forward to September!

One last picture for Friday favorites! Mike sent me this picture the other day when he took Paisley to the hardware store with him.

Paisley checked over his purchases to make sure everything came out right! Funny girl!  Always wanting to help!

Life around Here

It's Monday.  I could have used an extra day this weekend. But Monday showed up anyway. Life lately, has been a bit crazy, but a good kind of crazy! We are taking full advantage of the warmer temperature and have spent a lot of time outside! We saw a friend who lives on our street at church yesterday and he said "Well hello to the most active family on our street! We always see you guys doing something fun outside!" That made me feel good.  A year ago at this time I wasn't doing too many active things- or I was avoiding them. But today, I'm 30 lbs lighter- and I enjoy my time running around the yard with the girls!
Did you catch that?

 30 lbs down!  Next milestone- 40 lbs.

Here's a look at what we have been up to:

 Tenley had grandparents day at school! She was thrilled to have both sets of grandparents attending. We are grateful for the role they all play in our daughters' lives.

 Mike and I took a much needed weekend getaway to South Haven, Michigan. It's our favorite place to escape. One more morning we ran down to the pier from our condo and sat by the water and enjoyed the peace and quiet.

 GG and Great Grandpa are now home from Florida!!  The girls (and their mom) couldn't have been more thrilled!! Paisley asks on a daily basis when we will go to their house.

 The Maple Syrup Festival was last weekend, and in typical MSF fashion, we had to get out the packed away winter coats, hats and boots to watch the parade. It was a rainy cold morning but we watched from GG's porch and it worked out great. The girls were excited to use their new chairs.

 The girls are getting big. Paisley is developing her own personality and Tenley continues to surprise us with how much she's learning at school. She loves school so much and next year she'll go every morning.

 See that scrunchie that keeps making an appearance on Tenley's wrist? I'm reminded often how much my kids watch what I do. I always have a hair tie on my wrist and Tenley has really picked up on this and always wants to wear one now.

Life around here is busy and sometimes we whine and complain. But it's also sweet. The girls are changing and growing so fast that I'm soaking in all of these little moments!

Progress!

Today marks a milestone for me!  I've lost 20 lbs!  This new lifestyle is getting easier. Lots of veggies and fruit and lean protein. It's more of a way of life now. That's not to say it's not hard. I still would love to go pig out at buffalo wild wings.  I did have that for a cheat meal a couple weeks ago (a smaller portion) and while it tasted so good.. I was reminded of why I can't have that alot! I felt awful afterwards!

Here's a couple pictures.  The first one is from February.  I know it's hard to see differences because of what I'm wearing, but I can see some.

I can tell a difference in my face a little bit.  My jeans are definitely big on me now. Good thing I have a stock pile of old jeans that are all smaller sizes. I held on to them in hopes of someday... Some day could be here!

This picture is from today.

I'm really working hard to see more changes! I'm walking about two miles every night (when it's not bitter cold!) and trying to work out in the mornings, although I must admit I've been slacking a bit in that area. But I can tell a big difference just since I started walking.

Here's to 20 more!

Claiming the Chaos

**Disclaimer: This post is more for my own records.  It's lengthy and will probably bore you.  But down the road I know I will want to remember this.**

I want to remember last week.  I want to remember our thoughts and feelings.  Our tears and our prayers. I want to remember the way we clung to God with every phone call, appointment, test and result. I want to remember the way we clung to each other.

Last Tuesday, February 24th I took Tenley to an ultrasound appointment at Elkhart General bright and early. Dr. Ansari had requested that we do this just to make sure they weren’t missing anything with Tenley’s odd symptoms. The ultrasound took about 30 minutes or so, and they asked us to stay while the doctor looked over them just in case they needed to redo anything. When Tenley and I were sitting in the little waiting area the tech came back twice to ask me specific questions about Tenley’s symptoms. I could tell by his tone and his pointed questions that something was wrong. When we left EGH we had to go straight to Memorial for an appointment with Dr. Ansari. Tenley fell asleep on our drive to Memorial and so I called my dad. I told him that I just knew they found something and that we were about to have some answers. When I arrived at Dr. Ansari’s office, Tenley was not feeling well. This ended up being almost a good thing because the doctor could see what we dealt with on a bad day. He agreed that something was clearly wrong. Her lack of appetite was getting worse and her fatigue was obvious. When we were waiting on him in the exam room Tenley was telling me how she just wasn’t feeling well. I hugged her and prayed. I remember telling God that he made me strong enough to handle whatever was about to come our way, but that I just wanted answers. Dr. Ansari had the results back from the ultrasound, but he needed time to look them over. So he sent us home and he said we would receive a phone call later.

Later couldn’t come soon enough when I just knew they found something. That evening a nurse called to let me know that Dr. Ansari wanted us to have more blood work done and also have a hepatitis panel done on Tenley as soon as possible. When I questioned her about this she couldn’t give me much information- just that “someone will be calling to explain this more to you tomorrow.”  I was a little short and ask for some information at that moment. She told me that they did find that Tenley’s liver was inflamed and had some spots on it that weren’t normal. Usually this points to hepatitis or leukemia. I was grateful for the information that she did give me, but more scared than ever. We hit our knees that night and prayed for Tenley’s health and healing.

On Wednesday, February 25, I received a phone call while I was at work from the person who was to give me more information about Tenley’s liver. She told me that we needed to go today to get blood work done and that they scheduled an appointment for us at Memorial with an oncologist at 1:00 the next day. Of course this scared us to death. I tried to remain calm as I called Mike to let him know what was going on. I scheduled an appointment for blood work for later that afternoon. Tenley has been such a trooper through all of this. She has handled every test very well. Even if it’s not enjoyable by any means. I received two more phone calls that day from the Memorial Oncology dept. They were so sweet and helpful and made sure that we were okay. I’ll never forget the kind way we were treated by them in the scariest of moments. Mike and I prayed Wednesday night knowing that Thursday would be a big day. Mike took a half day on Thursday so that he could go to the appointment with us. When we arrived on the Pediatric Oncology floor at Memorial, we were taken in to a regular hospital room. We had been warned that their exam rooms are regular hospital rooms, so this took away our fear and Tenley was able to lay down and watch tv while we waited. Eventually, Dr. Morrison came in with Tenley’s blood test results. She let us know that while Tenley’s first blood test showed an incredibly low white blood cell count, this last one was normal. However, her uric acid level was high. Usually this means infection, but so far we hadn’t found one anywhere in her body. But no sign of hepatitis, which we were thankful for. After examining Tenley she gave us two options. We could get down to business and find out whether this was cancer or not by doing a bone marrow test. This test is invasive and painful and they have to put her under for that. I cringed at the sound of all of that. Mike and I looked at each other and I knew that we were both wanting to avoid that. Our other option was to do a CAT scan from her pelvis to her sinuses to see if there was an infection hiding somewhere that we were missing. She gave us some time to think about these options while she checked on some lab work. While she was gone she called Dr. Ansari and they decided to work together on Tenley’s case. I was relieved that they were doing this. They both agreed that Tenley has been through a lot of testing and a CAT scan might be the way to go for now. We couldn’t have agreed more. They scheduled us to be back at the hospital right away the next morning at 7:30am.

At the hospital on Thursday

My mom came with Tenley and I since Mike needed to be at work. I know how badly he wanted to be with us, but he also knew that as our primary insurance provider- he needed to be there. I didn’t tell Tenley much about what the day would hold, which was better. She didn’t have anything to stress about. When we arrived they made sure she was comfortable and she played for a bit before getting her set up with an IV. I won’t lie, this was awful. I held Tenley so tight so that she wouldn’t move and all the while she yelled “let go of me!”. I broke down and couldn’t stop the tears from coming after a week’s worth of testing and exhaustion. After they had the IV in she bounced back and was ready to play. They put frozen on a big tv for her (they know the way to her heart!) And let her pick out a toy from the toy closet. Of course, she picked an Elsa barbie doll. She drank the “juice” that she needed to drink for the cat scan without asking any questions. When it was time for the cat scan she got very nervous. They had me get into the machine first to show her that it wasn’t bad. She got in and did okay. We had a few tears, but I can see how this would be very scary for a little child. My heart broke each time a tear fell. But I kept praying that this would bring us closer to answers. She was a brave little girl!

They were able to get the results back right away. To my surprise- the scans were completely clear and normal!!  Praise the Lord! In just three days her scans went from frightening to normal. The doctor may have called her a mystery, but we certainly know who our ultimate Healer is! We are of course thrilled. We do still have concerns and questions. We will go back in two weeks for more blood work just to make sure everything is as it should be. We will watch Tenley and her symptoms carefully. We got a glipse of the old Tenley last night. It has been months since Tenley ate a full meal - and last night I made a new soup and she ate three bowls!  Plus two bowls of applesauce and two slices of bread!  We were THRILLED!  Thank you for your prayers. We covet them and appreciate them more than you’ll ever know!

Friday after receiving an IV

Seasons

I have nothing nice to say about winter anymore. I'm over it.  Bring on spring.  Now that that's out of the way, we'll move on to more interesting things, because clearly spring isn't listening to us.

We braved the blizzard warning and grilled the other night!

This will be a picture laden post. Which will make you happy Grandma and Grandpa!  We have been keeping busy despite the treacherous weather. For my own records I want to document the last few months with Tenley specifically.  In November of 2014, Tenley started having very random high fevers. These would come and go. A fever would stick around for a few hours and then be gone, or sometimes it would last all day and really wipe her out. That was the only symptom. Until we noticed how tired she was getting. All of this was around the same time she started school and stopped taking a nap, so I really just thought it may have something to do with that. I took her to the doctor in late November, because I thought that she had a UTI and that could have been the reason for the fevers. Everything came back clear though. We made it through the holidays, but fevers would still pop up. I started keeping track of them and it was rare for her to go a week or two without one. I couldn't ignore my gut any more and knew in January that I needed to get her in to the doctor again. At the end of January 2015 we took her in and I asked them to run a blood test. I hated to put her through that, but due to the random fevers, fatigue, and leg pain that had popped up I wanted to be thorough. She was a trooper and was very brave. I held her tight as they did the blood draw and prayed that everything would be okay. The doctor came back in to talk to me about all of the things they were testing for. The biggest concern was cancer. I had really prepared myself for that word. Mike and I had talked about it, we had thought it, but hearing it out loud from your child's doctor is a completely different feeling. Thankfully, the blood test came back normal. So they sent us to Memorial Children's Hospital to a Pediatric Infectious Disease specialist. Dr. Ansari. He has been very informative. At the appointment with him we heard a few more scary words. Cancer and tumors. We weren't out of the woods. But after he did a couple x-rays and an examination everything was still coming back normal. At this point I was beginning to feel crazy! But I guess better a crazy mama and we know for sure that Tenley is healthy!

  Tenley was very brave during her appointment.  She liked her new bracelet that they gave her when she had to get x-rays. Her next appointment is this coming Tuesday. She will have an ultrasound done of her stomach and also another appointment with the specialist. She has been on an antibiotic now for a couple weeks and I have seen an improvement in her. We're praying that this was just some crazy virus!

Paisley has stayed a constant joy through all of this. I can't imagine our family without that sweet little girl. She is so compassionate and is always asking "mama ok?" when I cough, sneeze or anything else. She's so sweet.  Paisley is starting to become a daddy's girl! She asks for him every morning and when I have to say that he's at work she often says "ohh no. Daddy hold me!" This of course makes Mike so happy!

I have started a new, and very much needed, journey to losing weight. I don't often talk about this publicly, but I think this would be good motivation and accountability. I am working out every morning, I haven't had pop in over two weeks (whoa!), and I am eating mostly lean protein and fruits and veggies. I am currently down 8 pounds and about 9 inches total.

I know that the struggles will come. I know that I'll want to give up, there will be set backs, but I also know the struggles will be SO worth it when I get to my goal.  Once I get a good handle on my cravings I'll be able to have one cheat meal per week. I'm looking forward to my first one already :) I think they will be much more satisfying when they are only happening once a week. For now though I'm sticking to this strict plan and inventing new ways to eat grilled chicken!